Client Journal: Admitting Shame

Admitting why I felt and still feel so ashamed was really hard for me to do. I feel a little bit relieved just saying it out loud, because it takes away some of the burden that I was feeling. Shame is a hard emotion for me to feel, because once I start to feel it, I either go into my judgment, or I shutdown. I am trying really hard not to do either. Yesterday I had the urge to eat some baby powder. I didn’t, I had a good cry instead. I now know that I use baby powder as a way to numb out from whatever it is I am feeling. Yesterday I was feeling sad because I realized how much hurt and shame I feel around the molestations. This is a really hard piece for me, but I am glad we are working with this. I have carried so much pain within me for so long.

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