Client Journal: Mother Need – Dear Mom


Dear Mom,
I am jealous of my sister because I feel like you love her more than me. I feel that way because you visit her if she is having a hard time with either her job or her kids; you drop everything to be near her. You always tell me how proud of her you are, I can’t even remember the last time you said that to me and it makes me feel jealous and angry. Angry because the life she chose happens to fall in line with what you wanted for her, therefore she gets your love, your support, your energy. What do I get? Seriously, what do I get? What do you give me? I’ll get a phone call here and there but when I talk about my stress or my problems, the subject gets changed. Why? Why don’t you care to really hear about my life? Do you want to really know what’s going on with me? How I feel? Then I start to criticize myself. I tell myself I’m worthless. That I’m not as important as S, that I’m not worth or deserving of your attention because my life doesn’t look like hers. I am so mean to myself because I believe that you love her more! And when I start to think that, I feel so sad and depressed and I just keep on picking on myself until I feel like I want to die! I want you to accept me, I want you to love me. I want you to ask how I’m feeling and I want to feel safe enough to tell you something without worrying that after 5 minutes you will change the subject to something totally unrelated. I want you to at least accept the fact that I’m an artist and not say things to make me doubt myself. I doubt myself enough and I need someone in my corner who loves me and supports me. I want that someone to be you. But I don’t know if it ever will be. And I feel hurt and angry by that.

The mother pain is deep for you. Are you becoming aware of how much it rules your self esteem and expression? It is important to witness your thoughts, feelings and beliefs around this wound.

What do you think will help you move into healing around this need for your mother’s love and attention?
Will you ever be able to ask her, express to her this truth?

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