Client Journal: New Strings

At the end of every group session, the facilitator always ask us to name one thing we are going to do to take care of ourselves for the week. On Tuesday I said that this week I am actually going to try really receive compliments instead of just brushing them off or think “they’re wrong”.

Yesterday I was at my violin lesson and the previous assignment my teacher gave me was to write my own song. I brought the song that I’m working on, and throughout the lesson he was teaching me different techniques and how to add different textures to it to have it sound more dynamic. Midway through he says, “You know, you have a real beautiful arrangement of notes there!” I got teary-eyed! I felt warm and I said thank you.

At the end of the lesson he also told me, “You need new strings. The strings you have are too timid for who you really are. You need strings that will really just let you sing out and go for it.” I feel like that was also a life comment as well. I thought about how I make myself smaller than who I am. I do this by isolating, acting cold, withholding, not trusting, not receiving and not nurturing myself. But I feel warm because today was the first time I was able to see playing the violin as something I potentially have actual talent for, and not just a hobby. I was able to receive what he was saying, and not just the compliments, but the technique stuff as well. I am proud of myself that I was able to give that to myself.

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