Client Journal: Unloved Child

Client: Tapping into my unloved child is hard for me. I start to feel the pain, and because it is so dense it starts to scare me. Then I take a deep breath and start doing the tapping. This lessens the heaviness that I feel, and I don’t feel as scared but I do feel the hurt and the pain. Even though I now know the lack of love I received from my father has nothing to do with me, I still need to heal that part of myself. But I am realizing, is when I shut down I act like him. Cold, distant and inattentive to myself and those around me. I don’t do it as much now, but I would disappear. Just like he would. I would just retreat and shutdown and I wouldn’t talk to anyone for three or four days at a time. I would ignore the world. I would ignore myself. It makes me sad to really feel how I turn into the thing that hurts me the most.

Marta: You repeated the negative pattern to protect yourself…now you are waking up to feel how it is hurting you…don’t judge. Allow yourself to tap on loving yourself unconditionally for taking on the pattern to love and take care of yourself…say I can see this different now and forgive myself and start to take care of myself in more loving ways…then repeating what my father did by shutting down…shutting down took care of me and now receiving love is taking care of me…tap on that. Good work…keep tapping on that you accept yourself unconditionally…even you protected yourself by shutting down, you can make another choice now.

** Tapping is an Emotional Freedom Training (EFT) process that activates energy points in the body to relieve trauma, limited beliefs and other stress related or non-productive behavior.

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