Client Poem: Claiming the Soul Woman by Peggy Bennett

Claiming the Soul Woman
by Peggy Bennett

I was a woman who was more interested in acting like a man.

Climbing the corporate ladder,
Doing battle with anyone who tried to get ahead of me,
Living in the two inches above my eyes,
A head with feet, really.

One day I woke up and didn’t recognize myself.
I was so consumed with protecting what was mine,
That I didn’t realize I had become a woman who I did not like.
A woman who damned with faint praise,
A woman who withheld support for others’ work,
A woman who smiled in your face but wished nothing but your downfall behind your back.
I became all of the things that I hated in those around me.

I kept pushing myself harder thinking it would make my life better
I worked on project after project
Thinking more work would bring me peace
And then I brought in the consultant for my most difficult project
And it blew up in my face.

I worked for several years on that project
Finding the perfect format
Building support with the powers that be
Finding the right time to present it to the company executives
And in a matter of minutes it was killed off and left for dead.

The executives expressed their dislike for the consultant quickly and in various ways
Some arrogantly challenged her expertise
Some disparaged the CEO
Some remained silent and hid from the conversation
None came forward to treat her with respect.

And when the CEO found out about the meeting
He came to me to gather information
I told him what had transpired behind his back
How his own people had made fun of him and acted out
I made sure that my words destroyed any trust he had in them,
And in that moment, I sunk to my lowest self.

And then I heard the voice of my spirit,
Who are you?  What are you doing?
And I was ashamed.
I didn’t know who I was or how I became this person
And I realized that I was miserable in this person I had become.

Her voice was the only reminder of what my soul needed
Calling me back to my true path
To slow down and enjoy my life
To forget about money and endless striving for more, more, more
More homes, more cars, more stuff.
To stop living life outside of myself and find the compassion for my humanness
To live life from a place of love and not one of fear.

And on the day that I decided to value my heart above my head,
I quit.
I walked away and never looked back.
I set out to reclaim my soul.
And in the process to reclaim myself.

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