When I ask you to listen to me
and you start giving advice, you have not done what I asked.
When I asked you to listen to me
and you begin to tell me why I shouldn’t feel that way, you are trampling on my feelings.
When I asked you to listen to me
and you feel you have to do something to solve my problems, you have failed me, strange as that may seem.
Listen!
All I asked was that you listen, not talk or do, just hear me.
Advice is cheap:
25¢ will get to you both Dear Abby and Billy Graham in the same newspaper.
I can do for myself:
I’m not helpless. I may be discouraged and faltering, but not helpless.
When you do something for me that I can in need to do for myself,
you contribute to my fear and weakness.
But when you accept as a simple fact that I do feel what I feel,
no matter how irrational, then I quit trying to convince you and we can get about the business of understanding what’s behind this irrational feeling.
When that’s clear, the answers are obvious and I don’t need advice. Irrational feelings make sense when we understand what’s behind them.
So, please listen and just hear me, and, if you want to talk, wait a minute for your turn: and I’ll listen to you.
-Anonymous
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.