I’ve been so angry at love
fighting for it and against it at the same time
always defending its honor in a bar brawl
just before final call
bruised and battered
so mad at that cute and fuzzy little fucker
for tick ticking its way into my heart
when bombs explode they say, whatever does not kill you will make you stronger
eventually heal
but there will always be a scar left behind
you have to fall in love, take a leap of faith, see what the eye can’t see
and pray your losses will not overshadow that which is gained
I’ve been so angry at love
secretly numb to its radar
keeping the chip on my shoulder a little too sharp
darting in and out of its light
trying to forget its texture and warmth
resisting its seduction into the heat of its embrace
finding me here in the in-between, always coercing me to dance in the blue flame
you smell like alcohol and you taste like smoke
and you lead me in directions I never intended to be
you make me smile when I want to fight and cry when I want to laugh
waltzing in circles
leaving me distracted and dizzy and grinning from ear to ear…
The truth is,
choosing to love is like asking god for a roadmap with no directions
you both end up pointing at each other
when you really just want to cruise and wind the winding road together
the miscommunication is the complexity of our pasts
they get tangled and intertwined and leave tire marks on our souls
we never stop loving love we just forget how angry we are at it
those coulda been, shoulda been relationships, opportunities
the ones that would have been meant for greatness
only to end up water under a bridge, somewhere in the arteries of our bodies
clogging up memories that make us the most happy
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.