I want to impress myself somehow
Leap ahead and
Envision boundaries breaking down,
Walls dissolving into oceans,
Murky with lost faith
To be able to look back and see I’ve won
I wish I could impress myself somehow
Wish I could see what I want, what I hunger for
in the mirror
A warrior
A savior
A huntress
I scrape my nails down the slick surface
Nails bending, clawing…
I spit
Both to clean and humiliate
I polish, scrub and still
I can’t merge with the reflection…
I want to be able look up and never wonder if I have deceived myself
With pretty lies.
It’s never enough
And feels like fraud
Just once
Just once
Can I beat myself
Can I cross the finish line only to see myself
Ahead, breathless
Winning.
-Sonam Hajela
That was my heart in a blog. Thank you for sharing your poem