Client Journal: Feeling Worthy

I’m still feeling really sad about that guy that I was spending time with. I know I did what was right for me but I’m still struggling with letting go, letting go of what I knew of him and the fantasy I had of him. It comes in waves but I still feel it every once and awhile. I think what makes me feel really sad is my hopelessness about meeting someone and my ability to get attached so quickly to men. I have been thinking a lot about what you told me:

“Stop getting involved with this type of man: one that keeps reinforcing your belief that you are unimportant to men. Do your father work, heal your broken heart so you can attract healthy relationships.”

I have been thinking about not making my feelings important and how I put myself in that position. I didn’t make my feelings important and neither did he and we both walked into a really bad situation/an emotional affair that left me feeling really hurt. I know J cares about me and feels bad but in the end he was selfish. I allowed that selfishness in my life. My father never cared about my feelings and how the things he did would affected me. He was just selfish. He still doesn’t. It’s very clear to me know how I can’t do that to myself. My feeling are important and they are very sensitive. I am sensitive and I can’t just leave myself (my heart) sitting in a mine field ready to get blown to pieces. I have to protect it because no one else will. Not my dad, and not the men I meet who are like him.