On Love – Khalil Gibran

“When love beckons to you follow him, Though his ways are hard and steep. And when his wings enfold you yield to him, Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you. And when he speaks to you believe in him, Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden. For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning. Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun, So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth……

But if in your fear you would seek only love’s peace and love’s pleasure, Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love’s threshing-floor, Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears. Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.

Love possesses not nor would it be possessed; For love is sufficient unto love. And think not you can direct the course of love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course. Love has no other desire but to fulfil itself.”

But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires: To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night. To know the pain of too much tenderness. To be wounded by your own understanding of love; And to bleed willingly and joyfully.”

― Khalil GibranLe Prophète

Use It…

Client Journal: Breathing

What is coming up for me today is the way I breathe. How my sister breathes, how my mom breathes and how her mom breathed. The first thing that you, Lara and my acting teacher (when I’m able to take class) tell me when I don’t seem present or open to what is happening around me, is to take a breath. When I do, I am able to feel what’s going on inside of me. I am able to be open to receive what the other person is feeling, and almost always I am able to read their energy and see and feel what else is going on in their lives. My sister would do that when I was little. My mother used to be able to do that. And her mother. They were able to give psychic readings through feeling people’s energy. But at least for me, it’s only with a certain breath that I am able to feel, have intuition and read people’s energy. It’s a breath that comes from my lower body, my lower belly, sometimes from my groin. It is scary to breathe from my belly all the time. It’s even scarier to breathe from my groin. When I breathe from my belly, I immediately almost always feel sad. Exposed. When I breathe from my groin, I feel rage. Rage from being molested, rage from being told to hide my psychic impulses. I was told to not discuss my intuition with people from outside of my family, that other people wouldn’t understand. And to an extent, I agree, some people just aren’t open to that type of thing and that works for them. It has also made me feel isolated. Because sometimes when I listen to people talk, I get premonitions about whatever it is they’re saying. Then comes the choice, do I tell them what I’m seeing/feeling or do I keep it to myself? When I do say something, I understandably get asked, “How do you know that?” “I just do.” is my answer. “How?” “I don’t know. I just feel it. I just do. This is what I see and feel happening for you.” With a spiritual person, it turns into an interesting and lovely conversation. With 80% of the world, I get defense and anger thrown back at me. I saw something I wasn’t supposed to see. Felt something I wasn’t supposed to feel, and then I feel scared, I take it personally, and change my breathing back.

The shallow in-my-chest-tight-in-the-shoulders breathing. The type of breathing that my sister does and did after she dreamed of my grandfather’s death, the type my mom starting doing in the last 10/15 years or so, maybe longer, I’m not sure. And the type of breathing I remember my grandmother doing in her mid seventies until she died. I can’t feel anything or anyone when I breathe this way. I don’t have my intuition from here. And it makes me sad. I try so hard to not get hurt. I breathe that way when I’m trying not to feel hurt. From little stupid things like getting a vaccination shot, to more intense sensations like feeling emotional pain, rejection, criticism and grief. What ends up getting lost in that is one of the best parts of me, my intuition.

Client Poem: Claiming the Soul Woman by Peggy Bennett

Claiming the Soul Woman
by Peggy Bennett

I was a woman who was more interested in acting like a man.

Climbing the corporate ladder,
Doing battle with anyone who tried to get ahead of me,
Living in the two inches above my eyes,
A head with feet, really.

One day I woke up and didn’t recognize myself.
I was so consumed with protecting what was mine,
That I didn’t realize I had become a woman who I did not like.
A woman who damned with faint praise,
A woman who withheld support for others’ work,
A woman who smiled in your face but wished nothing but your downfall behind your back.
I became all of the things that I hated in those around me.

I kept pushing myself harder thinking it would make my life better
I worked on project after project
Thinking more work would bring me peace
And then I brought in the consultant for my most difficult project
And it blew up in my face.

I worked for several years on that project
Finding the perfect format
Building support with the powers that be
Finding the right time to present it to the company executives
And in a matter of minutes it was killed off and left for dead.

The executives expressed their dislike for the consultant quickly and in various ways
Some arrogantly challenged her expertise
Some disparaged the CEO
Some remained silent and hid from the conversation
None came forward to treat her with respect.

And when the CEO found out about the meeting
He came to me to gather information
I told him what had transpired behind his back
How his own people had made fun of him and acted out
I made sure that my words destroyed any trust he had in them,
And in that moment, I sunk to my lowest self.

And then I heard the voice of my spirit,
Who are you?  What are you doing?
And I was ashamed.
I didn’t know who I was or how I became this person
And I realized that I was miserable in this person I had become.

Her voice was the only reminder of what my soul needed
Calling me back to my true path
To slow down and enjoy my life
To forget about money and endless striving for more, more, more
More homes, more cars, more stuff.
To stop living life outside of myself and find the compassion for my humanness
To live life from a place of love and not one of fear.

And on the day that I decided to value my heart above my head,
I quit.
I walked away and never looked back.
I set out to reclaim my soul.
And in the process to reclaim myself.

Client Poem: Kissing by Peggy Bennett

by Peggy Bennett

I don’t kiss any more.
No more sweet, soft, summer kisses
that start on the beach in darkness,
after all of the bars have closed.
The kind that exist in a world of their own,
not leading to anything else.
The kind that leave your lips chapped
and your face scratched,
and end at sunrise.
With a boy you hardly know and probably will never see again.
The kind of kisses you speak of to your girlfriends on Sunday mornings,
while you all sit on the beach in the sun perfectly contented.
And feeling like you are walking on air.

No, the kisses I give now are like a mom-mom or an aging aunt,
kisses on cheeks and tops of heads.
Loud smacking kisses on the lips that create giggles in the receiver,
kisses that show love and affection and the promise to be there forever.
Kisses that hide the girl I used to be,
the girl who kissed strangers in the moonlight.
And for a fleeting  moment ran free.

Client Journal: Breathing leads to Psychic Knowing

The first thing I felt when I met you was your psychic energy. When I am around someone who is psychic, my left hand tingles and it feels like electricity is running through it; it is the reason I wanted to work with you. A non-psychic therapist wouldn’t be able to guide and work with me the way that you do. You honor your wisdom, and I really need to see what that looks like.

A few months back, I took a mediumship and psychic development course. We got to the part where the people in the class were working on evidential mediumship contact. The woman I was partnered with was in her 60’s, and apparently had some unresolved stuff going on with her mother. Guess what spirit I made a link with through her? Yup. Her mother. This woman was angry that her mom cared more about looking glamorous than raising her and loving her the way she needed. She was also holding a lot of resentment and anger towards her mom because she had recently died and left her, her own daughter, out of the will. Obviously, I could relate to her feeling hurt and angry over her mom. I was able to describe her mom perfectly and tell the woman memories of her childhood. Her mom then wanted me to ask this woman about a business she was supposed to be starting. The woman kind of stalled in answering the question, and said there were some things she needed to consider and think about. Then, the spirit of her mom told me to tell her “I have no apologies for how I treated you. You know why? Because whatever I wanted to do I did it. No matter what. That’s what you need to do. Stop thinking, and start doing. That’s who I was.” I said it as nice and as gentle as I could, but it was still, in my opinion, a harsh message. Until that point, I’d thought that once someone died, they would gain some sense of enlightenment or wisdom or something. Nope. Not this lady. There was no remorse or sadness for how she treated her daughter. No apologies. Unfortunately, this woman was really looking for and needed some sort of apology from her mom. She didn’t get it. At least, not when I made this contact with her mother’s spirit. This woman got extremely angry, and then took her rage – which should have been directed towards her mother – out on me.

I felt scared! It was the first time that I’d made contact with a spirit like that. I could feel her mother’s energy, smell her perfume and hear her voice, so it was exciting, but at the same time, I wasn’t anticipating getting raged on, not like that. I can only imagine what you have gone through in your experiences. And it sucks! And sometimes is painful, at least for me. I wasn’t trying to fuck with this woman, or manipulate her. Her mom, though not said in a loving caring way, might have had a valid point. But her mom wasn’t loving and caring in life, so I guess not much changes on the other side, or least not with this particular spirit.

It feels good to me right now to share this piece with you.

Client Poem: Reclaiming the Feminine by Peggy Bennett

Reclaiming the Feminine
by Peggy Bennett

I left her in a ditch by the side of the road one day
When I couldn’t bear the weight of her
When I stopped letting her drag me down.
When I couldn’t stand her voice in my head anymore
Like some needy child
Always begging me to love her… to love myself.
She was just too big a burden for me
And in the midst of all my clawing and striving
I had no use for her.

And now I cannot find her.
I’ve retraced my steps a thousand times and combed the fields until late at night
I’ve called out to her in the dark and hear nothing but the echo of my own voice.
I beseech her to return to me.
Please be mine again
I need you to be whole
But all I hear is silence.

Maybe she was never really mine to possess
For, although I am a woman
I took more comfort in the masculine and learned to rely on that part of myself completely.
And now acting like a man does not serve me well
To power through and suck it up
I can no longer be that person and I am stuck between worlds

Wanting to feel like a woman again,
Wanting to feel warmth in my belly,
Wanting to feel love and compassion,
Wanting to feel something.

I will crawl on my hands and knees and beg her to return to me.
I will search the depths of my soul for her.
I will grovel on my belly.
I will claw and scratch at the earth with bloodied fingertips.
I will give up everything for her
And sing my song for her
Until she comes back to me
Until she comes home.

Elizabeth Gilbert on Soul Mates (Eat, Pray, Love)


“People think a soul-mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the persona who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A soul-mate’s purpose is to shake you up, tear apart our ego a little bit, and tear down your walls and smack you awake. Show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life…”  – Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

On Intimacy – Marta Luzim

On answering a client about intimacy: There is nothing wrong in needing and asking for attention from someone you love. If you cannot give it at the time, explain that and give when you can. Think about it. Don’t you need a lot of attention, in various ways throughout each day? Relationships are about balance, and the balance is different in every relationship, and sometimes different from day to day. Communication is always the key. Sometimes you won’t agree, or be able to give, or give too much, or too little. It is the impeccability and honesty of commitment to keep listening and communicating. It is caring that matters, opening up, even if it causes conflict within you and the other. That conflict leads to growth and deeper intimacy individually and as a couple. Remember in intimate relationship the other is a mirror and will irritate you to in ways that force you to open or close. Or touch and ignite you to blossom, or change toward another direction. It is all part of the journey. Intimacy turns your eyes inward to see yourself as you truly are, not as you think you are, and to see the other as they truly are, not what you set them up to be. It will shine a light on our darkest places, demand us to break down walls and heal our deepest wounds. Intimacy strips our ego and forces us to love from a raw, primal place, that challenges our most vulnerable fiber. It is messy, alive, immediate, intricate and internal. -Marta

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